


It's Hard  To See The Enemy When You're Looking At Yourself

by social_reject



Series: Rebellion [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 05:10:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4209168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/social_reject/pseuds/social_reject
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael and Calum ran away from all the problems that stared down at them, they searched for a new life and found themselves tangled up in a rebellion with no more sense of right or wrong except each other. They were always right, together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Hard  To See The Enemy When You're Looking At Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of my Lashton story Save Me From Who I'm Supposed To Be. You don't really have to read it to understand this. Also I'm excited because this was my first time writing Malum, who I adore and will be writing more for in the future! Please do enjoy! :D

Michael had to run and he had to run fast, he knew that with his whole being. The forest thinned as he ran his footsteps growing heavier and heavier as he trudged on, slipping into tucked away crevices when he needed a breather, his hands leaving red imprints on his knees as he heaved for breath. The damp forest air felt like it was clogging his lungs, getting tangled up in his airways as breathing became a chore instead of instinct. Michael pressed himself as close to the cool stone as he could, his body being shadowed off to the best of his mundane ability.

Horses passed him in a whir as shouts of determination kept on, the guards searching for him, their sweep of the forest quick and not very precise. Michael uttered a thank you to whoever may have been listening from above or beyond or what have you that the guards were duller than the rock face he was pressed against. Michael would be damned if he were to enter a life of service under the people who had killed his parents, he wasn’t about to be dragged off like Ashton had, half shattered on the ground, his pieces jagged.

All around him the forest was alive, the guards continuing their search, animals scurrying about and bugs crawling by. Once Michael’s breath was evened out and the guards had trotted off leisurely taking their time to get back to the castle and work Michael shook his head in ultimate relief. The chase was over but now the hard part began. Survival. Michael wasn’t entirely sure where he was at this point, he’d been running so fast and for so long that he’d lost all sense of direction. With the setting sun he knew he little day light left to guide him. Making camp was his best and probably only option at this point.

With survival on his mind Michael began his search for the essentials; food, water, fire, and shelter. He needed water first and foremost, his throat on fire after his exertion of running. Michael knew there had to be a stream leading to the water front somewhere in the forest; logically it made sense to him, so with what little sunlight he had left he set off in search of his salvation. Within the half hour Michael had stumbled upon his much desired water, cupping his hands and drinking greedily from the clear stream. He didn’t care if the water was ‘clean’ or not, it was wet and cold and that was all that mattered to him.

Michael sat on his knees for a moment as he looked around, the moon peeking out into view past the foliage of autumn leaves around him.  If it hadn’t been for the days previous events he would have felt calm, even serene in the beauty that this scenery offered, but he was still shaken to his absolute core, down to the bone. With a staggered sigh and only a few tears dripping from his chin Michael picked himself up after reflecting on the worst day of his life and headed further into the forest.

Along the way he gathered what he could for firewood, the bundle increasing as he walked along in search of a makeshift shelter. Michael had only one regret in running away from the guards; leaving behind the only two friends he’d ever known. He’d left behind Ashton who was tucked away in castle walls in a life Michael knew he must have hated, and he’d been separated from Calum who was awaiting his own parent’s execution and would surely be just as damned as Ashton.

Michael walked along, the shine of the moon and stars the only light offered to him on such a dark day, in a way it really fit. Up ahead in the glower of the moonlight Michael spotted an old moss covered cottage, it’s walls and roof caving in slightly with years of neglect. Michael figured it was better than being out in the open to let the elements consume him, so he carefully entered the run down haven. Inside had little to offer that the outside had, the one room cottage was empty except for the layer of dust covering the floor and small fireplace.

Michael dropped his bounty of firewood into the hearth and prepared a fire, the flames instantly warming his body. Hunger gnawed at his stomach but exhaustion won the internal battle as he sprawled on the gross ground, not caring that his clothes would be ruined by morning. Soon enough his newest and dearest friend enveloped him warmly, sleep the only comfort he had to offer himself.

 

 

Michael slept well through the night and into the morning, by the time he rose the sun was directly overhead, the fire he’d made the previous night only glowing embers now. Michael knew as soon as he woke up he’d need to find food, how he could have slept through the hunger baffling him. As soon as he made sure the embers were completely out he made his way outside the cottage, feeling slightly refreshed as he stretched his arms above his head, his back cracking after the unappreciative night of sleep on the floor.

On his venture to find food Michael marked his memory with distinguishable things so he could find his way back to the cottage, knowing that would be the best shelter he’d be able to conjure up. Michael happened upon a bush of berries, they looked succulent and were a good start to nourishment, he tried to remember what identified berries as poisonous but could not recall. He shrugged, figuring if they were threatening he would have had warning bells ringing in his memory. He plucked a few off the stem and cautiously bit into one, nearly choking when an all too familiar voice called out his name.

“Michael!”

He turned around quickly, the few berries falling from the palm of his hand. Standing before him flushed and out of breath was Calum. Michael didn’t believe what he was seeing, he rubbed at his eyes blearily, willing the sight of Calum to stay. Calum didn’t stay but got closer to Michael and wrapped him up in a hug.

“Cal, what, how?” Michael struggled for a basic understanding.

“I couldn’t just stay, I had to get out,” Calum explained, his words hitting Michael’s neck softly. Michael instantly wrapped his arms around Calum, his fallen berries forgotten.

“But- how did you find me?”

“I saw you run off yesterday. I knew which direction you went and I just sort of followed your trail,” Calum explained as he pulled away and drank in the sight of Michael. Michael did the same, noting how worn Calum looked.

“You need water,” Michael instinctively said, recalling his own adventure and his thirst. Calum nodded in agreement.

“You need to eat first,” Calum rebutted though pointing at the berries.

Michael quickly ripped some berries off and coddled them in his hand as they headed off to where he remembered the stream being. Calum took hold of Michael’s free hand, the two had been holding hands for comfort as long as he could remember. Michael munched on the berries as they came across the stream, Calum falling to his knees to quench his thirst.

Michael sat cross legged on a rock near the stream watching his friend intently. He didn’t know why the universe had decided to be so nice to him after all he’d gone through but he was incredibly grateful for it. Maybe there was such a thing as karma, maybe Michael’s life was finally looking up.

Once Calum was satisfied he joined Michael on the rock, tucking neatly and familiarly into Michael’s side, swiping a few berries out of Michael’s hand. If Michael closed his eyes he could almost pretend that he and Calum were back at home sitting in the town center outside his father’s shop like they did regularly. All to soon the illusion was shattered though, Calum brokenly whimpering the tiniest bit. Michael pulled him slightly closer, if that was possible.

“It’ll be okay, we can get through anything together,” Michael assured.

“Together,” Calum repeated the word packed with emotion.

They’d gone through the majority of their lives together, using the other as a constant support system. They’d always had their parents around up until that point but there was something special about the bond the two boys shared. Family was important but friendship was chosen and full of underlying meaning.

“I found a shelter, it’s not much and it sort of smells, but it’ll keep us safe,” Michael informed.

The statement sparked something within Calum, why Michael had no clue, but it did, “What are we gonna do? Just hide out for the rest of our lives?”

In honesty hiding out with Calum sounded pretty good to Michael, at least at the moment. He was tired of running, he was emotionally exhausted and didn’t want to figure out the future in that very moment, “For right now, yeah.”

“I guess that’s all we can do,” Calum said dejectedly as he sagged back into Michael’s side.

Michael hated seeing Calum so down but didn’t know what to do or say to cheer him up so instead he just wrapped his arms tighter around him. Even if it didn’t make Calum feel better it certainly made Michael feel a bit lighter. The pair sat on the rock a while longer, letting the sun hit their skin listening to the water trickling around them, the birds chirping almost as if in harmony with the stream.

“We should probably head back now,” Michael suggested, his voice breaking the peaceful quiet that had surrounded them.

“Alright,” Calum agreed dethatching himself from Michael’s side, as soon as Calum had hopped off the rock Michael felt his absence though he was only a few feet away from him. A second later Michael jumped down and latched onto Calum’s hand, needing some form of physical contact. “You lead the way.”

Michael pulled Calum along, making sure to never break their hands apart. He passed the berries had had flagged in his memory and kept on his path until they were inside the cottage rebuilding a fire to keep them warm as they snuggled together on the floor. Michael reveled in the feeling of Calum as they sat in solitude, neither having to say a word to communicate. Finally though, Calum broke the silence, shattering it around them into tiny silver pieces as he asked the unknown.

“Where do we go from here?”

Michael wasn’t completely sure himself but he said the answer that immediately invaded his mind, “We stay together and work through it. We’re already marked as rebels in the kingdoms mind for running, why not embrace it?”

Calum sat a moment in silence as he contemplated his friend’s words, “Embrace it how?”

“Do what they expect rebels to do, raise hell,” Michael explained. Calum nodded his head as if in agreement, a little smile touching the corners of his lips as if the idea brought great joy to him.

“Let’s start tomorrow,” Calum offered.

Michael was a little dumbfounded on how to start so he looked to Calum for a better explanation.

“The whole kingdom will be at the tournament, why not go on a little spree through the village?”

“We take only what we need,” Michael amended sensing what Calum’s tone was suggesting. "And never from those who need it more.”

“Then it’s a plan?” Calum asked eagerly, the idea exciting him.

“You bet.”

 

 

Calum was absolutely right about the whole kingdom being at the tournament, the villages were eerily empty by the time they had arrived, all the shops were closed, all the houses closed up. Their intentions were to get what they needed and get back before the tournament ended but instead they found themselves submerged in their old homes, lost in all the feelings that tangled around them. Michael couldn’t put his finger on it but something seemed off

“It’s strange isn’t it?” Michael asked softly, Calum by his side as per usual. The boys never really distanced themselves, not even in sleep, especially not in emotional times.

“Somehow it feels less like home,” Calum commented.

That was exactly it, Calum had really captured the odd feeling that surrounded Michael, always able to say the words he couldn’t, “You’re right.”

Michael didn’t notice the tear that fell down his cheek until he could taste it, he didn’t want to cry, being thirteen and crying just didn’t seem manly to him, and now that he was alone he had to man up. Calum squeezed Michael’s hand gently reminding him that he would never be alone, the gesture feeling more like home than the deserted house ever could.

“Let’s get out of here, it’s bringing me down,” Calum said, always the braver of the two when it came to expressing his emotions. Michael followed behind Calum dubiously, ready to follow his friend off the face of the earth if push came to shove.

The boys wandered out of the house and into the streets, their fire of rebellion long forgotten in the haze their emotions had created. Michael’s feelings were running rampant as they shouldered the few things they had collected to bring back to their hideaway. Calum was carrying the last of the food in a burlap sack, Michael toting their clothes respectively.

They lingered along the paths that would take them back into the forest, trying to convince themselves it was what was best. They couldn’t bear the thought of living a life serving the heartless monsters that had ripped apart their families. And in time they knew they would be suspected of working with the rebellion, their family names carrying on. Michael had brought up a valid point last night that kept sifting through his mind. If they expected them to be rebels, maybe they should.

The finally hit the forest, following the imprints of their shoes from their previous trek back into the village to guide them to their new home. They stayed silent during their trip, their held hands the only contact they shared during it. Michael looked to Calum taking in his expression, it seemed utterly neutral as if he were thinking of nothing, which made him envious that he could turn his thoughts off so easily. Michael hated the never ending thoughts assaulting him. He wished they would just stop. If even for a minute.

“I miss Ashton,” Calum blurted out. Michael was surprised that that had been running through Calum’s mind when he was so sure he was able to turn his thoughts off.

“I do too,” Michael mumbled.

The two were elated that they had each other but it was true, it just didn’t feel right without Ashton, knowing that he was off living a hellish life while they had escaped and found the other. The conversation lulled as they finally entered the cottage and dispersed all their new materials. Calum excused himself to go collect firewood; Michael wasn’t completely sure they should separate but noticed the edge to his tone. Calum needed a moment alone.

Michael sat with his back to the damp wall, one of the side effects of the moss covering the outside, and let his mind whir as fast as possible hoping that once he’d thought everything it would filter out and go away forever. Eventually Calum rejoined Michael with a lack of firewood, but Michael said nothing of it, Calum plopped down next to Michael naturally pulling the other in for an embrace. In that moment Michael felt more at home than he had in the past few days.

Calum pressed a small kiss to Michael’s temple in comfort, the feeling electrifying Michael. Often times when they made contact with each other Michael felt more and more confused on his feelings toward his best friend. He knew Calum was his best friend and would always be but lately he’d been feeling like he wanted more, that there actually was something more.

“I love you, Cal,” Michael mumbled before he could stop himself and think of the repercussions.

“I love you too Mikey,” Calum said as if it were obvious.

“No, I mean, I’m in love with you,” Michael groaned realizing Calum hadn’t picked up on his meaning.

“I know, and I mean that too,” Calum said softly. Michael jerked up in surprise, he hadn’t meant for the words to fall out, but they had and they felt amazing. Hearing them back felt a thousand times more amazing.

“I love you,” Michael said once more as he re-tucked himself in Calum’s embrace.

Maybe they were young and maybe they were stupid but Michael was sure of what he felt. No one could ever tell him otherwise. Love felt light and happy. Calum was his shining light and he was always happy with him.

Calum laughed only slightly before replying, “I love you too.” 

 

 

The two had fallen asleep tangled in each other’s embraces, Calum’s legs on top of Michael’s arms wrapped securely around Calum’s torso his head nuzzled into his neck; Calum’s resting on top of Michaels. Slowly Calum untangled himself from Michael and stretched out as Michael rubbed the sleep from his eyes

 “Morning,” Calum greeted with a little smile and twinkle in his eyes.

“Breakfast,” Michael mumbled sleepily, the ache of hunger driving him to sit up and drag Calum out the door. . As they marched on the previous night’s event warming him from the inside out. It took everything within him not to keep repeating those three magical words over and over as he looked up at his lovely little light.

They went to their usual berries and then scavenged around for more sources of food, knowing they would eventually need it, they couldn’t survive off of berries forever. Michael had suggested hunting but Calum had shivered at the thought of having to then skin the animal, it was too much for him to bear. Michael would have to do that on his own. As they foraged around they happened across a dirt road, the wheels of a carriage thumping along in the distance.

Though there was no immediate threat with the presence of the carriage Michael pulled Calum down behind a boulder, not wanting to chance it. The less they were seen, the better off they were likely to be. The carriages thumping ended abruptly after one loud thud, Calum had scooted over to the edge of the rock so he could peer out and take note of what was happening, Michael followed suit on the other side of the rock.

A group of men surrounded the carriage, forcing it’s passengers out and to their knees, the horses getting rowdier as the men circled them. One man climbed into the carriage and back out quickly.

“There’s nothing in here,” he reported with annoyance lacing his words.

“Then they’ve lucked out,” another man replied, the point of his sword drawing back from the frightened couple. “Get out of here.”

The couple hurried up off their knees and back into the carriage, slamming the door quickly, the horses taking off with the snap of the whip. Michael sat back in his original position, terrified out of his mind, Calum rejoined him moments later with wide eyes and a whisper, “I have to sneeze.”

Michael shook his head vehemently, that would only call attention to themselves and that was the last thing he wanted. He went to cover Calum’s nose and mouth but ended up with snot coating his hand after a prolonged and dangerously loud sneeze. Calum looked over apologetically and shrugged as if he couldn’t help it, which Michael knew he couldn’t but damn did he have the worst timing.

“Did you hear that?” A voice echoed out. Michael nudged Calum with a disapproving look as they held their breath and waited.

“It came from over here,” another voice said, closer this time. “Come out come out wherever you are.”

Michael could feel sweat slickening his palm, not sure if it was Calum’s hand in his or if it were to his own accord. A few footsteps and twigs snapping later a man stood before them dressed in rags yet carrying a pristine sword. Michael looked up sheepishly still frightened for his life. He had nothing to offer these men but the clothes on his back and even those would do them no good.

“Looks like we got some little rats out here,” the man chuckled pulling the pair to their feet. “You will tell no one.”

The man pulled the sword up but stopped when another rounded the corner to their once protected hide out, “Oh stop, don’t you recognize them?”

The man with the sword indeed did stop, suddenly, recognition flitting through his eyes and then he cracked an almost toothless smile, “Well I’ll be damned. You’re little rebels aren’t you?”

“Sons of Hood and Clifford,” the other man explained reverence in the words.

“What are you doing all the way out here in no man’s land?” The one in front of them asked, his breath hitting their faces in a most unpleasant way. It took all Michael had not to visibly gag in the man’s face, still slightly frightened by the men, more of them filling in around them.

“We didn’t know where else to go,” Calum spoke up. “Our parents were executed. We ran before they forced us into the castle as servants.”

The men all looked to each other, sympathy soaking their features. When the man in front of them looked back Michael wasn’t as afraid anymore. The group of men seemed to be communicating silently with one another, a trait Michael often did with Calum like right now he looked to his friend and then to the side trying to ask if escape was a good idea. Calum shook his head back ‘no’, they were still unsure what the men’s intentions were at this point.

“Well I’d be damned if I were to let you two walk away,” the man said and then offered his hand for shaking. “The names Scoop.”

“Scoop?” Michael questioned a bit rudely, Scoop only laughed something fierce at his reaction.

“His name is Scoop because he gets the scoop on everybody,” the man behind him explained.

Instead of replying to the absurd nickname Calum just asked, “You’re not going to hurt us are you?”

“Course not,” Scoop answered easing the last of Michael’s nerves. “We’re going to take you little fellas in. Dare say we’ll teach you the scoop on this forest here.”

And with that pun Michael, Calum and Scoop started an unlikely friendship, Scoop taking them out on raids, supplying them with all they could ever want from said raids and taught them all about the rebellion. When they had told Scoop they knew Ashton’s father personally he’d sat there a bit dumbfounded for a moment, so incredibly stuck on the leadership that man had provided.

Days and months passed as Michael and Calum went out on more dangerous raids and riots, educating themselves on the rebellion to fully understand it. They’d always known of it, but now they wanted to be a part of it. All that it stood for was finally making sense to them, the extremes that people were going to now seemed rational. You had to stand up for what you believe in otherwise no one else will.

 

 

A year had passed since Michael had first stumbled upon the cottage and months since their role in the rebellion. With each day passing Michael was beginning to question Scoop and his men’s intentions. He still strongly believed in the goal they wanted to achieve but their actions seemed ruthless and wrong to an extreme. They’d been making camp with Scoop and his men since they met him but Michael needed to slip away for a moment so he urged Calum to go with him who was engrossed in a story Scoop was currently telling around a fire.

“Come on,” Michael whispered in Calum’s ear breaking his attention away. Calum followed willingly, Michael trying to put a good distance between them and the group of men still chatting around the fire.

“Where are we going?” Calum asked as he trailed behind.

“Just away,” Michael answered vaguely. He didn’t want to say too much to Calum until he was sure they were completely out of ear shot of everybody. They broke past a thicket of trees and into a small clearing, a log perfect for sitting on directly in the middle of it surrounded by fallen leaves.

The pair sat and finally Calum began to interrogate Michael, “Why did you drag me out here? Are you okay? Is something wrong?” The questions kept going and going until Michael shoved a hand over Calum’s mouth, only to draw it away when the other licked it.

“Ew,” Michael exclaimed and wiped the hand over Calum’s face, his friend chuckling the whole time. “I’m fine you goon. I just needed to talk to you. Not be licked.”

“I’m afraid you can’t have one without the other,” Calum shrugged a playful twinkle in his eyes.

“Well now that the worst part is over, how about you let me speak,” Michael suggested. Calum nodded his consent and Michael went off on his tangent about how wrong this whole thing felt. He didn’t think the way to make progress was to hurt other people. When he was finally done his rant and out of breath Calum nodded.

“I agree I just didn’t want to be the first one to say something, Scoop still sort of scares me,” Calum admitted.

Michael agreed, though they felt better around Scoop there was still an underlying anxiety. Michael scooted ever closer to Calum, their foreheads pressed together naturally. Calum leaned so their lips connected in a gentle kiss of comfort, the two boys sharing these often over the course of the last year. They weren’t sure exactly what they meant but they knew they weren’t going to stop.

Every time they could sneak off and be a lone they got lost in the others presence, the ultimate comfort coming from their physical contact. Michael leaned in for one last kiss before pulling apart and sighing. Calum made him feel so much better but there were still things that needed to be discussed, plans that needed to be made. They couldn’t keep floundering around hating themselves for their actions. They needed to put a stop to it while still making ground in the rebellion.

“What are we gonna do?” Michael asked feeling a bit of a role reversal with the question.

“We can always run again,” Calum suggested. Michael mulled it over once more.

“We can’t keep running away,” Michael finally decided as he stood to pace the length of the clearing, a small stream running its way past it. He crouched down to be eye level with the water, his reflection staring back at him and he barely recognized himself. He’d grown so much in the past year, he had scars from the fights he’d taken part in; he was staring into the face of an enemy. He hated the person he had become.

“How about we fix it?” Calum suggested, the implication on how to go about that totally empty.

“I wish we could,” Michael sighed and splashed his reflection away almost angrily as he stood. “I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“I wish someone would help us,” Calum mused. The two had no tactics for fixing their futures; they were as lost as they had been when running through the forest.

“I know who could fix everything,” Michael mumbled ruefully. He was still so upset that Ashton had been taken to that damn castle, if he were here he’d know exactly what to do, they wouldn’t have something as trivial as this going on. He was the leader of their trio, they tried replacing him with Scoop and hated the direction they were headed.

“Ashton,” Calum murmured.

“Exactly, Ashton,” Michael commented as he continued his pace, digging the heels of his shoes ever angrier into the earth beneath him. He wanted to kick something, scream, somehow let out all this anger inside of him but didn’t even know how to do that.

“No, Ashton,” Calum said again.

“That’s what I said!” Michael argued his hand flying to his chin in annoyance, his other arm wrapping around his torso, his head kept down.

“No, Michael. Ashton,” Calum said disbelief trailing his voice.

Michael rolled his eyes choosing to ignore his friend and kept on with his anger until Calum pulled on his shoulders and spun him around. There standing before him with the biggest grin on his grimy face was Ashton, his curls as wild as ever, his skin sun kissed. All of Michael’s anger melted away instantly. Somehow the universe had heard his inner musings and had answered his prayers.

“Looks like you boys are in a bit of trouble, eh?” Ashton asked his voice like music to Michael’s ears.

Michael shook his head in disbelief at the sight in front of him. Ashton stood as proud as ever in servant’s rags that were caked in dirt wielding a silver sword in his clutches. Michael had so many questions to ask his friend. How had he escaped? Was he okay? Could he truly fix all of their problems? If Calum hadn’t pointed him out to Michael he would have thought he’d gone crazy.

“What? No hug?” Ashton asked a bit disappointedly. 

The two friends didn’t hesitate in flocking their long lost friend in a group hug, the feeling of home complete. It had taken a long time, but Michael was finally at home once and for all. Michael now had the love of his life and his best friend all together, it could not get any better.

**Author's Note:**

> Come be my friend on [Tumblr!!](http://lashtonsillusion.tumblr.com)


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